Reverse Sexism?

_____________ Revised May 14, 2005 _____________

I can't stand most kinds of "ism"s. Sexism, racism, ageism, etc. One of my friends is a reverse sexist. Sexists(usually men) usually have a low opinion of the opposite sex(usually women) in general. In the case of a man, there is often a feeling of superiority, shown by dominance and aggression against women. They feel that women should serve them and do pretty much whatever they(men) want. They also feel that women can't do much on their own (they can't figure things out, they have to have a man do it for them). The women under such a man's control usually can't have her own opinions or life outside of that man's permission.

My friend, however, is different. He thinks so much of women, that he doesn't let them do anything for him. They can never offer him anything as a gesture or courtesy. He is supposed to serve them. Why? For no other reason than that he is a man and they are women.

I know a woman who, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, gave this man money (as a gift). He desperately needed it. He even said that it helped him to buy food for that week. He is self-employed and wasn't making a lot of money at the time.

A while later, she determined in her heart to ask him if there was anything he needed. She knew how it felt to be so poor with no help, and she did not want this man to go through the same thing, if she could help it.

It turned out that he did need, very much. He accepted her offer because, I believe, he was desperate. She would also open building doors for him, if they were walking together and she reached the door before he did. He would make a face, and then go in. She also twice bought him dinner(he bought her dinner once as well)when he couldn't afford to pay for himself. She was just doing what she thought a friend should do(for anyone, male or female). He apparently didn't like it, and later told her so.

He kept insisting on paying her back for everything(and I mean everything) and then finally wouldn't take anything else from her(although she hadn't given him that much). When she asked why, he said he didn't like taking money from women(or anything else, I guess). He doesn't like them opening doors for him, or buying dinner. He is supposed to do that for them. Again, for no other reason than that he is a man and they are women. He thinks this is honorable.

Now, there is nothing wrong with paying for someone's dinner or opening doors for a person, but doing so should not be based only on the sex of either person. When it was pointed out to him that God accepts our gifts and He(God) is man to our (human beings) woman, he acknowledged it, but it didn't deter him. The woman had apparently wounded his macho pride just by being nice to him. This is not thinking of women as equals.

In scripture, it was pointed out that women supported Jesus' ministry out of their own purses and he accepted. He didn't seem to feel bad about it. He knew that when one loves, one gives.That is the nature of love(of any sort). To refuse reasonable gifts is to deny someone their very existence, for we exist to love. To refuse women's gifts is to disdain what God has made(his gifts), and to disdain what God has made is to disdain God.

In addition to this, when she told him something she felt sure God had impressed on her about him (my friend), he told her that God would have to tell him so, for him to believe it. However, when he had previously given her a word of knowledge from God, she believed him.

I need hardly point out that my friend needs some work in the area of pride. I know he is going through terrible things in his life that affect his way of thinking, not the least of which is long-term depression. Unfortunately, I know what that is like as well. I know how hard it is to communicate with other people while in its grip. However, I am afraid that he will drive away everyone that cares about him and that is what people under depression need - someone who cares.

I care. I pray that God will talk to his heart so he will truly understand that women, like men, are created to give, not just receive.